Tips for Tightening Your Writing
Finishing the first draft of a manuscript is an accomplishment for any writer. Unfortunately, it’s nearly impossible to go from “The End” to published with nothing in between. Writing is only part of the process, with revisions coming after.
One aspect of making revisions is to tighten the writing. Each word should serve a purpose, and an unedited manuscript often contains extra words or phrases that can take away from the impact of each one. Tightening the writing is often done by reducing redundancy, eliminating filler words, strengthening weak phrases, and simplifying wordy phrases. Let’s look at what these mean, keeping in mind that these aren’t rules, nor are these changes always necessary.
Redundant words
Sometimes we use phrases in everyday language that can be considered redundant. The extra words don’t add anything, so they’re easy bits of fluff to cut.
She shrugged her shoulders and nodded her head. → She shrugged and nodded. (What else do you shrug or nod?)
They gathered together to celebrate. → They gathered to celebrate. (Can you gather apart?)
Her purple-colored dress was stunning. → Her purple dress was stunning. (No need to state that purple is a color.)
Shoppers get a free gift with purchase. → Shoppers get a gift with purchase. (All gifts should technically be free.)
There are too many examples to name, but you can look at Daily Writing Tip’s list for more.
Fillers
In Dreyer’s English, Benjamin Dreyer begins the book by challenging readers to omit these words and phrases from their writing for one week: very, rather, really, quite, in fact, just, so, pretty, of course, surely, that said, actually. These fillers don’t typically add much value to writing, and they can usually be removed with no adverse effects. This is especially the case with narrative, where more vivid descriptors might serve better purposes. These words are more acceptable in dialogue.
Adverbs
Adverbs modify verbs, adjectives, other adverbs, prepositions, clauses… and most other things. Adverbs often end in -ly (slowly, gracefully, carelessly) and can serve important functions. However, overuse can lead to weak writing. When self-editing, see if you can replace a verb + adverb with a stronger verb or if you can eliminate a redundant adverb altogether. Also, consider whether an adverb is taking away an opportunity to show instead of tell.
Choosing stronger verbs
said quietly → whispered, mumbled, muttered
hit loudly → slammed, banged, smacked
ran quickly → sprinted, dashed, bolted
Eliminating redundancy
tiptoed softly → tiptoed
strolled casually → strolled
roared loudly → roared
Showing instead of telling
He said coyly. → He said with a wink.
She approached nervously. → Her hands trembled as she approached.
“That”
The word “that” serves many important functions in writing, but it tends to exist where it doesn’t need to. I frequently delete it in manuscripts and in my own writing because it can hinder how a sentence flows. Repeated instances can also get tiresome. When you come across “that,” read the sentence with and without it. If it aids comprehension or if the sentence just sounds better with it, feel free to leave it in.
I thought that you said that you didn’t like me. → I thought you said you didn’t like me.
This isn’t the way that it was supposed to be. → This isn’t the way it was supposed to be.
Let’s make sure that it happens. → Let’s make sure it happens.
Of course, when you’re using the word to indicate something specific (“that one over there” or “I’d like that a lot”), leave it in. A CMOS Shop Talk article also gives examples of when to leave “that” in. Please don’t do a Delete All of “that” with reckless abandon!
Dialogue tags
Dialogue tags are essential because they tell the reader who’s speaking (he said, she whispered, they shouted). An issue I come across in manuscripts is when almost every line of dialogue has a tag denoting the speaker. In many situations, this is often redundant and can bog down the rhythm of the conversation. When there are only two characters in a scene, readers can usually infer who the speaker is based on the alternating nature of most conversations. Sprinkling in tags here and there helps keep the reader on track, but otherwise it can be overwhelming.
Something else I see writers do is to combine most dialogue tags with action. Take a look at the following example.
“That was beautiful!” he exclaimed as he clapped his hands in delight.
“Wasn’t it?” she said, still marveling at how well the performance went.
“Do you think you’ll be nervous to play tomorrow?” he asked, squeezing her hand.
“I don’t think so. Now that I know how it’ll be, I’ll be more at ease,” she said as she shook her head.
Each line ends with a dialogue tag and a description of what the speaker is doing. While the actions enrich the conversation, this pattern can be tiring to read. Consider how the same example changes by making some small tweaks.
He clapped his hands in delight. “That was beautiful!”
“Wasn’t it?” she said. She was still marveling at how well the performance went.
“Do you think you’ll be nervous to play tomorrow?” he asked as he squeezed her hand.
She shook her head. “I don’t think so. Now that I know how it’ll be, I’ll be more at ease.”
Even though there are just as many, if not more, words in the second example, the dialogue tags have been reduced. Action beats have taken the place of some of the dialogue tags altogether and still serve the purpose of telling the reader who’s talking. This focuses the reader’s attention on the action and words rather than weighing the scene down with extra tags. For more tips, check out my post on writing dialogue.
Plain language
For many of us, our writing assignments in school required us to meet a minimum word count or page length. We had to stretch sentences by finding convoluted ways to say things or by dusting off our thesauruses to invent creative ways to repeat ourselves. Outside of school, writing in the real world calls for clear, concise language. It can be tough to unlearn the habits we formed, but simplifying descriptions and phrases is a useful way to tighten writing.
in order to → to
as well as → and (although “as well as” is appropriate at times)
the reason why it happened was because → it happened because
for the purpose of → to
is able to → can
Visit PlainLanguage.gov for more in-depth guidelines on using plain language.
Final thoughts
These techniques are just some of the ways you can tighten your writing. Once you start working through your manuscript, you’ll likely find that you have certain habits that fall into these categories. The more you edit, the more you’ll notice these patterns in your own writing and in the world around you. The revision process can be daunting, but doing so can improve your writing skills and make your manuscript stronger.
