Point of View and Head-Hopping
One of the many choices a writer has to make when deciding how best to tell their story is what point of view to use. There’s no right or wrong point of view—it’s whatever suits the storytelling. Regardless of which type is chosen, each one follows general rules and has its advantages and disadvantages. A particular challenge related to point of view that I often encounter while editing is the act of head-hopping, which I discuss in more detail later.
Point of view
Point of view (POV) is the lens through which the story is presented to the reader. Writers have to decide which one fits the type of experience they want the reader to have. Here are the three most common types of POV used in fiction. Notice how the same example scene changes each time.
First-person
A character tells the story from their own perspective, so the reader can access the character’s thoughts and feelings. Everything is experienced through the character. Think of someone operating a handheld camera, filming everything happening around them, and telling the viewer what they’re thinking or feeling without appearing on screen. First-person POV uses first-person pronouns throughout the narrative (I, we, me). It’s common to use either present tense or past tense (as in the example).
“Hey! Stop right there!” he yelled.
I kept running, despite the pain in my chest and the ache in my legs. I couldn’t stop now. I never meant for this to happen. It was supposed to be simple, and now everything was screwed up. Regret filled me, but I forced the feeling away.
“You won’t get away with this!” he shouted, his voice distant.
Advantages
The reader is witnessing action and conversations as they unfold, creating a sense of immediacy.
The reader forms a stronger connection with the character because they’re experiencing the story from the character’s perspective.
The writer can use first-person POV to create an unreliable narrator, where the reader may not be able to trust what they’re sharing.
Disadvantages
The story is limited to one character’s point of view.
Depending on how it’s written, the action may seem more removed if the reader is witnessing the character do things rather than experiencing them as the character. For example, “I watched the two argue in front of me” is more removed than “The two argued in front of me.”
Some readers don’t like first-person POV.
Third-person limited
A narrator tells the story from the focus of one character. The reader has insight into the focal character’s thoughts and feelings but no one else’s, so everything the reader knows is through what the focal character experiences. Think of a camera following someone around. The viewer watches the story unfold around the person but doesn’t get to know anything said or done off camera. Third-person limited POV uses third-person pronouns throughout the narrative (he, she, they). Past tense is the most common.
“Hey! Stop right there!” he yelled.
She kept running, despite the pain in her chest and the ache in her legs. She couldn’t stop now. She never meant for this to happen. It was supposed to be simple, and now everything was screwed up. Regret filled her, but she forced the feeling away.
“You won’t get away with this!” he shouted, his voice distant.
Advantages
The narrator is usually neutral and objective, so readers can trust that what’s being presented is true.
The narrator has access to the character’s thoughts, which can be revealed to the reader as often or as rarely as they benefit the story.
The POV is easy to read and understand.
Disadvantages
The reader may not be as connected to the character because the story’s being told about them, not by them.
The story is limited to one character’s point of view.
Third-person omniscient
A narrator tells the story from the focus of multiple characters at the same time, so the reader might learn of different characters’ thoughts and feelings within the same scene. The all-knowing narrator may be in the form of a powerful being, such as a god or abstract entity like Death or Time. Think of a documentary, where the camera shows what’s happening to everyone and the narrator tells the viewer what the characters are doing or thinking. Third-person omniscient POV uses third-person pronouns throughout the narrative (he, she, they). Past tense is the most common.
“Hey! Stop right there!” he yelled.
She kept running, despite the pain in her chest and the ache in her legs. She couldn’t stop now. She never meant for this to happen. It was supposed to be simple, and now everything was screwed up. Regret filled her, but she forced the feeling away.
“You won’t get away with this!” he shouted, his voice distant. Little did she know, the shopkeeper called the police to report the theft.
Advantages
The narrator can be a character of their own and can inject humor, skepticism, wisdom, or other traits into how they tell the story.
The reader gains insight into multiple characters.
Disadvantages
The reader may find it hard to follow who they’re supposed to connect with or care about.
Knowing every character’s thoughts, feelings, and motivations can take away mystery or tension.
Second-person
Another POV is second-person, but this one is pretty uncommon. The story would be written from the reader’s perspective and filled with the pronoun “you.” For example, “You run away from the shopkeeper. You’re filled with regret but keep running.”
Head-hopping
The term “head-hopping” describes a technique where the writer provides insight into different characters’ thoughts and feelings. Because first-person and third-person limited POVs focus on only one character’s perspective, many writers still want readers to know what’s going on for more than one character. For example, maybe the reader needs to know what’s happening with the antagonist because it reveals their motivations, or maybe a secondary character witnesses something that will influence the story. If the entire novel follows only one character, the reader may not get these important glimpses. It’s common to have scenes or chapters follow different characters, and these can happen simultaneously (the same event), sequentially (different events in chronological order, moving the story forward), or randomly (events that are out of order but fit together to tell the story).
The problem becomes when head-hopping occurs in the middle of a scene or without a clear indication of a shift. When the reader is following along with one character’s story, these sudden windows into another character’s thoughts or actions can be jarring. Even when there are clear shifts, jumping around from character to character can be exhausting for some readers, so it may be worth limiting how much it’s done. Some readers may appreciate these occasional insights and keep reading. However, some may be left confused or frustrated, even if only briefly. At worst, some may decide they don’t like these moments of confusion or frustration, and they stop reading the book altogether.
Take a look at the example scene from above, with one key difference.
“Hey! Stop right there!” he yelled.
She kept running, despite the pain in her chest and the ache in her legs. She couldn’t stop now. She never meant for this to happen. It was supposed to be simple, and now everything was screwed up. Regret filled her, but she forced the feeling away.
“You won’t get away with this!” he shouted, his voice distant. The shopkeeper called the police to report the theft.
In this version, the scene is written in third-person limited, following the female focal character (indicated by knowing her thoughts and feelings). The shopkeeper shouts after her, his voice distant, and then it’s stated that he called the police. How would the focal character know he called the police without him telling her or without her hearing him do so? This would be considered head-hopping, where the reader learns of something the focal character isn’t aware of.
I recently read a popular novel that’s topped bestseller lists and has been praised by many. The book is written in third-person limited POV, and each chapter or scene follows one character. Every now and then, the thoughts of other characters are revealed in the narrative. This is usually just a line or two each time, but it caught me off guard when I came across it at first. I’ve subsequently read reviews of the novel, and some mention the head-hopping too. A few commented that they enjoyed the book so much, they looked past it. While many readers likely didn’t notice or mind the head-hopping, there may have been some who were bothered by it. The question is whether this type of narrative is worth the risk of potentially tripping up readers.
Ways to fix head-hopping
If you find yourself head-hopping and don’t want to be, there are ways to fix it depending on the context of the scene. Consider whether these options make sense with what you’re trying to accomplish.
If you want to showcase different characters’ points of view, dedicate specific chapters or scenes to the characters. For chapters, some writers add the character’s name at the beginning to make it clear whose perspective it is. For scenes, create a clear scene break by using a visual cue, like a blank space before beginning the first paragraph or a graphic (triple stars or a small icon that’s relevant to the story are popular options).
If you want the reader to know about a conversation that doesn’t involve the focal character, have them overhear it. This doesn’t work if the focal character isn’t supposed to know about it.
If you want to showcase another character’s thoughts or feelings, have them express it through dialogue or action. Instead of a character thinking the focal character is frustrating, have them let out a heavy sigh or say, “You’re frustrating. You know that, right?”
If you don’t want them to express it through dialogue or action, have the focal character sense or interpret the other character’s thoughts or feelings. “I handed over the coins, knowing I was short some. I knew he had to be frustrated with me again—he always was.”
Something to note is that even though the reader may learn about events happening to different characters, the characters themselves shouldn’t know what’s happening to others outside their scenes unless they learn of it somehow (through witnessing, being told by someone else, telepathy, etc.).
Final thoughts
The point of view you use to write your story can make all the difference in how it comes across to the reader. If you’re unsure what to do, write the same scene from different points of view to see how it affects what you’re trying to achieve. While head-hopping isn’t inherently good or bad, it’s important to recognize how readers may receive it. If you want to showcase all the characters’ thoughts and feelings, would third-person omniscient be better? If you prefer the first-person or third-person limited POVs, would having insights into other characters add or detract from the scene? These are all factors to consider when choosing what point of view is best for you.
