Capitalization in Fiction
The treatment of terms in fiction, especially in science fiction and fantasy, is one area where editors often bring out the red pen. Because I primarily edit these genres, I’m not surprised when I’m faced with sentences that are rife with mid-sentence capitals.
Kristy Gilbert of Looseleaf Editorial & Productionpresented a webinar on immersive copy editing for science fiction and fantasy, and I’m sharing some of her insights with her permission. Therefore, this post is a mix of what she talked about and what I’ve seen while editing.
The trouble with capitalization
Capitalization is commonly used to denote importance or distinction. Proper nouns are capitalized. Important words in headlines and titles are often capitalized. Why shouldn’t important things in our books be capitalized too?
The trouble with capitalization is twofold:
Capitalizing a mid-sentence word or phrase calls attention to it. The more we call attention to it, the more the reader will see that it’s being treated as different or invented. On the other hand, the more we treat a term like a real thing within a world, the more the reader will accept that it’s a real thing. If the characters talk about how they love eating kamatierra, the reader will see that this is an accepted generic edible thing within the characters’ world. If the characters talk about how they love eating Kamatierra (or kamatierra), readers might wonder what this name brand or foreign food is.
The more capitalization we use to denote the importance of something, the less important each capitalization becomes. If we think everything deserves capitalization, we often end up going overboard. If we capitalize a royal title, why not the title for the head of the military? If we capitalize the head of the military, why not all military ranks? And then all military units? And so on. Take these two sentences:
The Emperor asked his Lead Military Strategist to prepare the Army for war against the treasonous General.
The emperor asked his lead military strategist to prepare the army for war against the treasonous general.
These two sentences are the exact same, except that the first one has four capitalized elements. Their meanings are the same, and the second sentence is easier to read. As I’ll explain in the next section, the capitalized terms in the first sentence don’t actually need capitals.
Common over-capitalizations
Anything can be capitalized, but these are the areas that I see capitalization most often when it’s not needed.
Ranks and titles
Military ranks, political titles, and professional titles are probably the most frequent type of over-capitalization. The rule of thumb is to capitalize only when the title directly precedes a name or when the person or thing is being directly addressed by the title.
The subjects bowed before the queen. OR The subjects bowed before Queen Henrietta.
The actions of the president kept Earth safe from aliens. OR The actions of President Whitmore kept Earth safe from aliens.
“There’s a phone call for the lieutenant.” OR “There’s a phone call for you, Lieutenant.”
Relationships
Personal relationships are treated like titles. Therefore, the same rule applies: Capitalize only when the relationship signifier directly precedes someone’s name or when they’re being directly addressed by it. Nicknames that take the place of names are also capitalized, like in the third example.
Charlie chose his grandpa to go with him. OR Charlie chose Grandpa Joe to go with him.
I wish my mom could see this. OR I wish Mom could see this.
This one’s for our coach. OR This one’s for Coach.
Seasons and directions
Seasons and compass directions are typically lowercase. If a direction refers to a specific region that’s recognized, it gets a capital letter.
My favorite season is spring.
My family is from the western US. BUT My family is from the Pacific Northwest.
Words used in acronyms
Acronyms are capitalized, such as FBI, ATM, AI, and NASA. Sometimes, when writers spell out what an acronym stands for, they’ll capitalize the words. The words should be capitalized only when they’re proper nouns. For example, it’d be correct to say the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) or National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) because these are both organization names. However, an ATM is an automated teller machine, and AI stands for artificial intelligence. There’s no need to capitalize these explanations, but writers often do, likely to signal to readers that AAMTFL (the Acronyms Are Made of These First Letters).
“The Big Thing”
Many science fiction and fantasy books have one or two elements that are important above all else in the world, such as a deity or evil force. You might see terms like Supreme Ruler or Big Brother or the Evil Empire capitalized because they’re the Big Things in their worlds. Kristy says that she lets writers have one or two of these that can remain capitalized. If too many of them exist, the capitals lose their effect.
Real-world equivalents
One way you can decide whether you should capitalize an invented term is to compare it to real-world equivalents. Proper nouns are capitalized in everyday life, so it’d make sense to capitalize anything that’d be equivalent to a proper noun. This includes things like
personal names (people, animals, nicknames)
organizations (businesses, sports teams)
specific locations (cities, planets, streets)
landmarks (mountains, national parks, bodies of water)
brand names (products, manufacturers, developers)
If your world has healvibers that are essentially doctors, the term wouldn’t be capitalized because we don’t capitalize “doctors” in a general sense. But if you were referring to Healviber Bob (similar to Dr. Bob), that would get a capital letter. Your characters may all use wizgidgets and argue whether Orang3 or Aylien is better—just like humans use smartphones and argue whether iPhone or Android is better.
One exception that Kristy mentioned is when a word exists in the real world and is being used in your story in a different context. For example, if your world has characters who work as Binders (they bind books, say), then that might be capitalized so your readers don’t think you’re talking about the three-ringed kind. If that’s the case, capitalize all professions in the world for consistency.
Not everything will have a real-world equivalent. In some cases, a best guess will suffice.
Consistency is key
Regardless of how you choose to use capitals, the important thing is to be consistent. If you capitalize one magic spell, capitalize all of them. If you capitalize a term like “She Who Sees Everything You Do,” capitalize it every time.
Final thoughts
Every person will have their own opinions on when to capitalize in fiction. In the end, it’s your manuscript, and you can decide how you want to write about your world. The question is what kind of experience you want readers to have. While capitalizing may emphasize an element’s importance, using capitalization sparingly may lead to a more immersive experience and a world that readers can immediately buy into.
